There is a great possibility that a marriage will be happy, but the possibility of its demise should not be forgotten. Only by leading a good and wise life can we have good spousal relations in a marriage. The first lesson to be learned and adhered to is patience. At the beginning of family life, both one’s virtues and temperament are revealed, but also one’s flaws, habits, tastes, and temperament that the other spouse did not even know existed. Sometimes it seems that it is simply impossible to get used to each other and that there will be unending hopeless conflicts, but patience and love conquer everything. The two lives merge into one, one that is much nobler, stronger, more fulfilling, richer, and more complete, so that life continues in peace and tranquility.
The second secret of happy family life is showing attention equally to one another. A husband and wife must constantly show each other signs of their careful attention and love. Happiness in life is made up of special moments and small pleasures that are quickly forgotten: hugs, smiles, kind glances, sincere compliments, and countless small but good thoughts and honest feelings. Love needs to be cultivated daily.
Another important thing in family life is sharing your interests with each other. None of the wife’s concerns should seem too insignificant for even the hugest intellect of the greatest man. On the other hand, every wise and faithful woman will be genuinely interested in her husband’s work. She wants to know about his every new project, plan, difficulty, and doubt. She wants to know which of his endeavors have succeeded and which have not and to keep up with all his daily activities. May both hearts share joy and sorrow. Let them halve the burden of worrying. Let everything in their life be shared. They should go to church together, pray together, and offer together at God’s feet the burden of their children and everything else that matters to them. Why not share with each other their trials, doubts, and secret desires, why not help each other with sympathy and words of encouragement? This way, they will live one life, not two separately.
Take care that there is not even the slightest misunderstanding or separation. Instead of holding themselves back, spouses sometimes utter thoughtless, careless words, and behold, between the two hearts that were once whole, a small crack appears, and it widens, and widens, to the point of complete separation from each other. Did you say something impulsively? Ask for forgiveness immediately. If any misunderstanding arises, it doesn’t matter whose fault it is, don’t let it stay between you even for a moment.
Refrain from arguments. Do not go to bed with a feeling of anger in your soul. There must be no place for pride in family life. We should never give in to the feeling of wounded pride or carefully scrutinize who should ask for forgiveness. Those who truly love are not concerned with whose fault something is. They are always ready to yield to the other, to ask for forgiveness.
The mere words ‘I love you’ are not enough for familial happiness – you need constant work on yourself, based above all on a Christian worldview. Only harmonious and healthy relations between spouses can serve as a guarantee for the moral upbringing of children.
